Shenanigans

It’s been a while, but don’t worry, I’m alive. Well...barely.

The past few days have been a mix of interesting, frustrating, and quite unfortunate circumstances. The main culprit? Tires.

Yup, it never stops.

Of course, tires have been the least of my concerns lately. Where to begin...

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Day 26:

Ah, the remainder of my stay in Litchfield, KY. Might as well start on a pleasant note. It’s amazing how many things I find to do when I finally make time to do them. A planned day of doing completely nothing suddenly turned into a day of accomplishing a million things I couldn’t do while sitting on a bike. Which all told, is a day well spent.

After treating myself to a delicious steak dinner at B.B. Italian Restaurant (with $2 pints to boot), I headed back to the hotel. Along the way I met a few nice people who were in town for a family reunion. Talking to them for a bit, I heard some crazy stories about snake catching...not my cup of tea, but an interesting way to end the night.

Miles Covered: 0

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Day 27:

The morning after staying in a hotel is always a mixture of eagerness and dread. Eagerness in the sense that I get to gouge myself at a huge breakfast...and dread in the sense that I have to pull myself out of a comfortable bed, onto my bike, and out into the heat. I guess it could be worse...

Before riding out of town, I stopped at the local grocery store to pick up a few staples, namely nuts, fruit, and peanut butter. To my surprise, the cashier gave me a loaf of bread, and a free pack dried fruit...not a bad start.

(I should note though, my bag of nuts have since been ruined in the rain, and the loaf of bread now resembles something that should probably not be consumed).

And so commenced my first day of EASY riding. I’m talking roads as flat as a pancake...life was good. I even took an accidental detour that cut two miles off the trip, brought me along even flatter land, and caused me to stumble upon this:

A pre-fourth of July picnic. Translation? Tons of people, tons of free food, and a great place to take a break:

After enjoying the picnic festivities, I continued my leisurely ride into Sebree, KY, home of the famous hospitality that is Bob and Violet’s First Baptist Church. Not just famous by my own standards, I had literally been hearing about church over 200 miles out of Sebree.

...And the rumors were anything but false. First, Bob and Violet are the nicest, most caring individuals one could ever hope to meet. Second, the church facilities are nothing short of amazing. Third, they give you dinner, a shower, a bed, access to laundry, and probably anything else you could ever want. The place is absolutely amazing.

Not to mention the stories. These two people host hundreds of cross-country bikers every year, and they have a knack for remembering each one’s incredible story. Some astound you, some inspire you, and some touch your heart in incredible ways. I could have stayed there forever just listening to their wonderful tales.

Of course, I too had to move on...but, not without first leaving my own mark on the hostel...

That night I also had some company from a guy named Jim traveling west to east. Nice guy traveling at lightning-speed, clocking over 100 miles a day...good thing he was going the other way.

Miles Covered: 85

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Day 28:

This is where the tire trouble comes in. Now the downside of running tubeless on tires that have already been ridden with tubes is that the glue takes a long time to find and seal all of the holes.

This was my first mistake.

So, every morning since I first got the tubeless setup until this morning in Sebree, I would wake up and both tires would be flat. Then would commence the incessant pumping with my tiny hand pump...not fun, to say the least.

Waking up this morning, I saw a glimpse of hope though. My front tire had barely lost any air, and my rear tire was in a close second. I got out the pump for what I hoped would be the last time, and got the rear tire up to pressure. No sweat. And then I moved on to the front.

Do you know what sound a tire filled with 85psi of pressure makes when it blows off of a rim at full force in a fit of rage?

BAM

Yeah, my front tire blew up. Not to mention I was now covered in nasty, sticky, rancid tire sealant. Yeah...

This was the first warning...but sometimes I’m just too stubborn (and stupid) to learn from my mistakes.

After attending the Sunday mass, I told Bob the situation and he drove me out to the local gas station so I could use the air compressor and attempt to pop the tire up again. Success! Sort of...there was still one part of the bead that didn’t pop into the rim.

This was the second warning...but sometimes I’m just too stubborn (and stupid) to learn from my mistakes.

Back to the house we went, to use a floor pump to put more pressure in the tire. I started pumping, and Bob nicely held the tire in his hands. Remember what happens when a tire violently blows off a rim?

NOTHING GOOD

This time, it blew right in Bob’s hands, dousing him in glue and making me feel absolutely miserable.

This was the third warning...but sometimes I’m just too stubborn (and stupid) to learn from my mistakes.

After we got cleaned up, I said forget the sealant, and I popped in a tube (mind you, I also had a spare tire with me the entire time). I blew up the tire to about 60psi, popped it on the bike, and rode it up to the house. Violet invited me in for lunch, which was incredibly nice and unexpected since I had nearly just killed her husband. Walking into the house, she turns to me and says:

“I’m so sorry about your bike, did you finally get it fixed?”

And before I could even respond, I hear from the driveway...BAM

And that’s when I finally learned my lesson. I went out to the driveway, and actually took the time to inspect the tire. Sure enough, the bead of the tire was cracked in two...that might have been a good thing to notice earlier. So I trashed the tire, broke out the spare, and slapped it onto the bike. Frustrated, angry, and anxious to get back on the road, I experienced something that miraculously made my problems seem rather insignificant.

Just as I finished fixing the bike up, a guy rode into the church parking lot accompanied by a pickup truck. In the back was a bike, with both wheels bent up and the frame itself bent in two places. His brother had been directly hit by a deer, totaling his bike and landing him in the emergency room. He had surely come to the right place, and shown me that maybe my problems weren’t that big after all.

After saying my goodbyes and giving the biker my best wishes, I was able to ride 55 miles to the boarder of Kentucky and Illinois to the town of Cave-in Rock. Once there, I met a wonderful family at the campground who cooked me dinner and gave me tons of snacks for the trip. On top of that, I didn’t even have to pay for the night.

So a very rocky start and hefty dose of reality later, I had a positive end to a very long day.

Miles Covered: 55

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Day 29:

Happy Fourth of July!

I was treated to breakfast by the family that gave me dinner the night before, which was a wonderful treat to wake up to. We all headed to a restaurant in the park, and I started off the day with a delicious omelet. That was also the first time I’ve ever been taken to a restaurant on the trip. Thanks so much for everything, it was great to spend so much time with all of you!

Here’s a picture of all of us:

There are three bike shops in Carbondale, IL...and when I finally got riding, I had my mind set on all of them. The ride was not easy though. TONS of rain, and I was still a little scared that my tires would choose to show their wrath once again.

Luckily everything worked out for the best. The tires held up, the rain subsided, and I rolled into Carbondale in one piece. The day was not without it’s tire trouble though...about two miles out of town the trailer tire went flat...what luck!

Getting late and having no idea where I was going to stay, I didn’t even bother to fix the flat. I just pumped it up, hoped it would hold a little air, and kept riding.

So what would any irrational person do when they get into a city as the sun is going down, not having any idea where they are going to stay? Ride around aimlessly, of course! And so that is what I did...and surprisingly it worked.

Not after long, a group of kids called out to me...”hey man, you want a beer?” “Uh, yeah! I’d love one.” I got off the bike, grabbed a bear, and made some friends. That was the start of a good night.

After I showered and grabbed a bite to eat, we headed off to watch fireworks, then hit a bar to celebrate the night in style. This all sounds great, right? Well let me tell you, in the morning...the tables had turned.

Miles Covered: 90

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Day 30 and 31:

When I woke up, I felt like I had gotten beaten by a gorilla, hit by every wheel of a semi truck, and abused by a lifetime of Brian Cicero’s wet willie's. I was in rough shape.

Without sparing too many graphic details, I stumped off the couch, threw my head into the toilet, and forcibly expunged every gram of food I had eaten in the past week from my body. I then gathered all my strength to get back onto the couch, fell asleep, and repeated the entire process again an hour later.

Deciding that eventually someone would catch on to the fact that I was cutting year’s off of their toilet’s life and kick me out, I struggled to get all of my things together and leave the house.

This is when it would have been a good idea to fix my flat tire the night before.

Keeled over my bike, riding thought the streets at about 2 miles per hour with a flat tire, I found a breakfast place. What ensued was an epic hour-long battle between a breakfast burrito and my stomach...of which the burrito became the victor.

Unable to eat anything, I decided to find a place to sleep. Barely making it a half mile to a hotel, I threw my bike in the room, face planted on the bed, and slept for the next 14 hours.

I woke up disoriented, covered in sweat, thoroughly nauseous, and quite miserable. Still fatigued, I continued to sleep.

Finally able to hold down cereal in the morning, I gathered all of my strength and attempted to get my priorities together. I got to the laundromat, scoped out all three bike shops, and even finally ate my burrito for lunch.

By the end of the day I had gotten a new front tire, had the bike working like new, become best friends with the hotel toilet, washed my clothes, and made it to bed by 9:00. Not bad, eh?

Miles Covered: I don’t even want to talk about it...

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Day 32:

Finally, I was riding again.

The good: the first 65 miles of the day were FLAT. I’m talking Mississippi River Valley, not one hill anywhere in sight

The interesting: Flooding...everywhere

The encouraging: I met up with the two girls from my second day of riding again (if only just for lunch)

The bad: It was hot, crazy humid, and I started the day dangerously dehydrated

Yeah...something's not right here:

I even had to traverse a road covered in water halfway up my wheel...

And that’s where things took a turn. After mile 65 I crossed the Mississippi River into Missouri...and then it got hilly.

If I was smart I would have stayed with the girls and stopped riding at mile 65...but if you haven’t learned that I’m not very smart yet, you need to start reading more closely.

So I pedaled on, facing the beginnings of the Ozark Mountains and an impeding thunderstorm. And then the unthinkable happened...

At about mile 75 I started to get an uneasy feeling that my back tire was flat. Sure enough, when I checked it, there was barely any air. Thinking there must be a hole in the sidewall, I removed the tire, pumped it up, and shook it up to get the glue everywhere. Within five minutes though, the tire was flat again...this was a problem.

On further inspection, my worst fear came true - air was leaking out of the bead...the exact thing that happened to my front tire that blew up in Sebree. Not wanting to risk the rear one blowing up in the middle of nowhere, I trashed it and put on my spare...see, I do learn lessons after a little while.

Finally up and running once again, I had to unfortunately deal with the hour and a half that I just lost. The sun was going down, the thunder was getting louder, and I still had 25 miles of hills to go. Not to mention I still felt horrible, had not eaten anything all day, and was incredibly dehydrated. This was shaping up to be a very dangerous day.

To make things worse, I had this encouraging conversation right after I finished repairing my tire:

Local who stopped to make sure I was alright: “Hey man, you need help?”
Me: “No thanks, just a flat”
Local: “Oh, ok. Where are you trying to get to?”
Me: “Farmington”
Local: “Today? …You’ll never get there today...”
Me: “Why’s that?”
Local: “There’s too many hills, you’ll never get there before the sun goes down”
Me: “Well, I don’t really have any other choice”

And so I rallied, chugged some water, and pedaled my heart out through pouring rain for 25 long, grueling miles. Questioning whether or not I would actually faint on the way (or get hypothermia because the rain was so cold), I finally made it to Farmington...which was one of the greatest sights I’ve ever seen.

I got some food, and made it to Al’s Place - a old jail that was converted into a bike hostel. Not only are a few people already here who I had met over past miles, tons of other cyclists are holding up here too.

Not to mention the place is amazing...way nicer than most apartments. Nice furnishings, a computer, laundry, beds, showers, and a kitchen. Quite a nice place to take another day off (with some company), and hopefully fully recover.

Oh, and I have also somehow managed to become quite famous on the bike route. Bob and Violet have been sharing my shenanigans with all their other visitors, and I have apparently earned myself quite the reputation on the trail.

So there you have it, let’s see what tomorrow has in store...

Miles Covered: 100

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Watch out for fires! Not sure what day this happened...but I meandered the road closure through the woods: